A Bad Beginning

I am experiencing the title of the first book of a Series of Unfortunate Events: The BadBeginning. Today has started in a most foul way. Listen as Ed wakes up this morning...

Yawn. Stretch. Curse at the alarm. Snooze twice. I wonder how the new carpet faired last night with the cats...

"Let's go see what happened to the new carpet last night, Turtle!" I get up, watching out for Frodo biting my ankles to remind me that he ishungry. I put on clothes and head for the stairs. "Oh look! Someone had a case of the runs on the very first step of newcarpeting! I can't imagine this getting any worse!"Down the steps and around the corner to the right…"Oh look! Someone took a serious shit in the corner on the new carpet! I sure hope I can clean both of these things up. Funny how the carpet is less than 12 hours in the house and you guys shat on it twice! Have you ever made an $800 mistake, Turtle? Well it looks like Daddy has." I clean up the two fecal piles...

A short while later, drinking coffee, I look out the window...

Look at those recycle bins and garbage cans blowing around down the street.People really should take care to not leave those things out like that. It could cause an accident if someone tried to avoid hitting them with their car.

I step into the office for a couple minutes and turn on the computer.I take a shower. Running late for work...Going out to start the car I see my gate has blown open and notice the absence of my recyclebins and garbage cans from my back yard. They are all blowing around down two different streets and in three different yards! Retrieving cans and bins in sandaled feet through wet grass, I drive down and pick up last garbage can far down the street on my way to work. The trashcan is still in my hatch as I write this. That is how my day started. These are the events as they actually occurred.

Have a nice day!